Everyone is getting old...

"Age is all mental" so says my 63 year old Dad. It's funny because he tends to complain about the fact he can't hit a golf ball as far as he used to. I tell him he needs to "mentally regress in age"--he usually only smirks at me.
We do, most of us, live at a comfortable distance from our age. I'm creeping on 30.

Last night, our softball team (no names mentioned; except Andrew) experienced something shocking. Pulled muscles. What? Why on earth would a muscle not work the way it did for the last 29 years? When did rounding third base prove to be such an immense task? I limped into the dugout. Andrew needed to be carried to his vehicle on the back of a fellow teammate. Carri Bauldree hurt her wrist and almost started crying. I offered her a tissue.(She did make a spectacular jumping catch...I could have slid a Visa Card under her cleats she was so high) A few games ago, her husband Jason pulled a muscle in his leg. Jim Boatner pulled his hammy(and got nailed last night by a line drive in the right cheek, not his face cheek...that will leave a mark).

Lindsey Walker pulled her quad (She did make a great catch, albeit her eyes were closed while she prayed). Bree got cleated, but had she been younger, no way that happens. Kara Copeland got thrown out at home, even six months ago, she scores on that play...below is a picture of her leaving the field last night, she just looks tired, you know?

What is happening to us!? I remember not having to even warm up to run the mile in gym class. Now I get winded during the warm up stretches.

At the game last night I actually saw two members of our team give eachother high five only to produce one jammed finger and lightly sprained wrist. When will this madness end?! Are we going to simply lay down and allow the ravages of age and atrophy of skeletal muscles be the end of us? Will injury and muscle soreness make us like wounded horses in the back pasture, never to race again while our tails turn gray and brittle?

Of course not. I have the solution. It took some research, however, I'm confident this is what our softball team needs in order to rediscover the fountain of youth. Ready? Here it is:

JACK LaLANE'S POWER JUICER

Here's the deal, this Jack LaLane guy is known as the "father of fitness" and his life is proof we can fight this terrible monster called "aging". The dude is about 137 years old yet has the energy of a hummingbird, the speed and agility of an African cheetah, and the strength of a dump truck. Do you think Jack LaLane has ever pulled muscle running around third base? Maybe, on his 113th birthday!!! I'm only 29. If Jack LaLane were our coach, he would be so embarrassed by reading our disabled list. There are actually two people listed as "day-to-day" because of hang nails. Jack LaLane would play with vigor and resiliency because he has conquered age in his mind and guess what? His body followed suit. That is why he is 137 and still runs and participates in martial arts competitions.

So, this post is just a way to motivate all of us who suffered injury to body and ego last night at Bethel Baptist field. We won the game, yes, but we lost our mental edge.

May the eery smile and oddly muscular physique of Jack LaLane fuel your passion to face the aging monster and grit your teeth. Just be careful not to pull a jaw muscle. Also, please bring and extra dollar to two to help me pay for this juicer machine, LaLane is making bank off these things...

With vigor, Shane

ps. I dare you to leave a comment.